I was listening to Hillsong’s “Not Today” on my way to
work today…okay, more accurately, I was belting out with passion and maybe some
choreography “Not Today” on my way to work (if you witnessed this on the
freeway…you’re welcome), and the line “fear is a liar running out of breath”
hit me, like it does every single time I listen to this song.
I love this line. I sing it, recite it, embrace it.
Fear is emotional, psychological, and spiritual. We
mask it in words like insecurity, anxiety, or stress, but ultimately, it’s all
fear. Whether it’s fear of the known or unknown, it whispers its threat of
what’s to come and what we can’t control.
In my teens, there were so many things I didn’t do
because I was afraid of failing. Somehow it was easier to keep it as a one-day
dream or goal than to try and (gasp!) fail. Sadly, I missed out rather than
allow myself to stumble and learn.
As much as I was afraid of failing, thankfully, I knew
life needed to be lived and experienced. Going to college was a huge step in
putting what I wanted above what I feared. There absolutely was a part of me
that thought I would get there and find out I didn’t have the smarts to
succeed. Turns out, I did.
I think that’s one of the reasons I love that line so
much. So often fear whispers lies of inadequacy and doubt. I have found,
however, the more I lean into what God has called me to do and lean on Him to
get me through it, the more breathless fear becomes.
There are so many things
that I have tried now that I just don’t think I would have been able to do had
I not practiced pushing back against fear, had I not wanted to grow and be more
than I was.
This past weekend I was on a
mic in front of a lot of people for a women’s event, and I didn’t faint, vomit,
or die. Twenty-year-old me might have done all three at just the thought. That
same day, I led a breakout session and received good feedback…so yay!!
This is not to say that
every time I try something or take a risk it works out. I don’t always master a
new skill; I’m not always successful; I don’t always get the outcome I was
hoping for. But even in the “failure” of something new, I grow. If nothing
else, I learn the beauty of letting go.
Among the many wise statements of Ralph Waldo Emerson,
one of my favorites is “Unless you try to do
something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.” This is
one of his pithier statements, which is good because it’s a little easier to
keep in your pocket and pull out when needed.
So, when Fear whispers its
lies, I’ll remind myself its breath is running out.
