Monday, July 21, 2014

Security Snail? Sure, Why Not...

I don’t know why, but I have always been fascinated with locks and keys. I love a vintage skeleton key and I wouldn’t mind having an old-fashioned key hole on my front door (if it were safe, of course).

I loved, LOVED, this thing. Bless the 80's.
When I was a kid though, I didn’t think of doors or old keys, but I did love anything that could lock – from diaries to mini lockers to weird 80’s toys that looked like snails but were really secret safes. Seriously, I had
one and adored it. I cannot tell you what I had in this snail but I assure you, it needed to be kept secure (as most childhood treasures do).

Along with the undercover snail, I had quite a collection of diaries. As a young girl, I relished having a diary (or 10). I think I just liked the idea of having somewhere to keep my private thoughts. One might forget what it’s like to be 9 and think that there are no private thoughts for one that age. If one were to think this however, one would be wrong.  

Something wonderful happened when I locked my treasure in my snail or wrote a thought (sadly, it was often about a crush) in my diary: a sense of importance. The very nature of needing a lock created a sense that whatever was inside would be sought, but should not be found by just anyone. I also think that in a time in my life when things felt unsteady, somehow a cheap, plastic lock gave me an odd sense of security (Fort Knox it was).


It’s easy to smile at little girl me with her false sense of security based on little locks, and think how distantly adorable that is. But, if I take a good look at not-so-little-girl me, I know I have new little locks in place, many of the metaphorical variety, that give me that same sense of security – false though it may be.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Musings from a Koi Pond

Fashion Island Koi Pond. Photo source
 A boy, maybe 6 or 7, stands at the edge of a stone   path that leads through the Koi pond into the center island. “Mom. Mom. Mom. Look, mom.” And   when he knows she is watching, really watching, he runs/skips across the stones to the center, stops in the middle, turns around – beaming – and exclaims that he “did it, Mom!” His happy smile made a bit bigger once she smiles at him and gives her approval of this feat.

He could have done this without his witness, but why? Why, when his goal wasn’t to simply cross the stones but to have his mom watch him cross. His goal was to get her approval, for her to be proud of him.

How often, even as an adult, I am like this - looking not just to accomplish something but to have a witness, to have someone I care about say, “I see you. I am proud of you.”

Sometimes I am envious of those people who never seek this. Sometimes I am sad for them.