For those who only know adult Shannon, this might be hard to imagine, but I used to be quite shy. Painfully so, actually. What might
be harder to imagine? I was also a fairly quiet kid, as though I were saving my
words for a time when I would know just how and when to use them.
Fast forward to now, and I’ve for sure depleted any storehouse
of saved words from my childhood. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m rather
overdrawn.
I have no problem starting conversations with
strangers in everyday, random situations. I confuse those passing by with an
eye contact-smile combination. However, every once in a while, when the stars align, or
(more realistically) when there is a chance of actual rejection or
vulnerability, my former timidity raises its downcast head.
A year and a handful of months ago, I traveled to Great Britain on my own and was
totally fine with it, yet when going to an event put on by Hillsong Church, I
began to get very, very nervous. Here I was in London with the intent of getting
to know the city and its people. Going to a place full of fellow Christians was
pretty ideal; I mean, we already had the whole “you love Jesus, too” thing
going. If I was going to meet anyone, this would definitely be the place. But getting
more nervous, I did the only thing I could think to do. I called my mom.
As moms often do, she gave me really good advice: Smile
and don’t leave.
I thought, okay, I can do that. I smile a lot. Like,
a lot, a lot, so that wasn’t going to be an issue. I just had to get myself
there and not leave. Spoiler: Not only did I survive, but I met some incredible
people.
I also internalized this advice and put it into
practice again yesterday. My church hosted a community group open house of sorts.
I have very much wanted to find real friendships at my church as I believe
community is vital. Though rather nervous, I knew the importance of going, and I knew the rules: smile and don’t
leave.
Not surprisingly, I again met incredible people
(turns out, the world is full of them). I like to think I met people I will
soon call friends, in fact. In full disclosure, I’m still over-analyzing my end
of a few conversations because I haven’t quite figured out that part of my
neurosis, but I smiled. I stayed.
