In the waiting…

I’m reading Timothy Keller’s book Jesus the King and just finished a chapter on waiting. I’ve been thinking about this a lot since Monday (when I discussed this chapter with friends), and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m pretty patient…until I’m not.

I feel I’ve gotten rather adept at exercising patience. I mean, I work with teenagers. (Okay, that’s a cheap joke – they’re actually quite wonderful.) In truth, I do try to give a situation time. I’ve even garnered more patience as a driver. Usually.

When I reflect, I’ve had a few things for which patience was required: my degree wasn’t earned overnight, fractured or strained relationships didn’t repair themselves, and the woman who stares back at me every morning is still a work in progress.   

What I have discovered about myself is that I do better in situations where waiting takes the form of tasks. In school, I had papers and classes and deadlines and more papers. I had smaller goals that I met along the way to the larger one. I could still feel accomplished; I could see and measure the progress. There is a patience exercised, but it’s easier when I have some control (or at least the illusion of it) over the progress, as I am seeing the goal come more and more into focus with each step, each task.

When there’s no more to “be done” but wait, however, that’s when my patience needs reinforcing. This is when discouragement can take root and overshadow promise or determination. The waiting, after all, is the hardest part (cue Tom Petty).

In these moments, I’ve come to realize I have to be more proactive than productive. I have to proactively remind myself I’ve never regretted exercising patience. In patience, my character has grown, my trust has been realigned, and my true source of contentment has come into focus.

I have also seen this in the lives of dear friends who’ve had no choice but to wait. They’ve waited for opportunities; they’ve waited for family; they’ve waited for reconciliation; they’ve waited for healing. There were times of discouragement, sure, but now there are times of rejoicing. New jobs, new babies, renewed relationships, clean bills of health. (This is one of the reasons I love having communities where we share the trials but also the triumphs – oh, those blessed triumphs.)

There are times we have to wait alone, times when others stand with us, and still other times when we get to stand with those close to us. And there are those of us still in the waiting, still ready for what’s to come.

So, in those times when no more is to be done, we wait. We wait, and we trust. Trust in God’s plan, His process.

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31