They say (in the proverbial sense) that weather has a lot to do with one’s emotional state of being: the idea that there are more depressed people in gloomy climates than in tropical ones, yadda, yadda. Perhaps this is true, perhaps not. Personally, I pull for the idea that emotional well-being is a state of mind that one controls oneself; however, it must be noted that this is not an impenetrable tower. One can be infected, as it were, by surrounding persons. I say this because there are days where I feel as though my noble intentions of being upbeat are dashed by some of my students’ teenage melancholy, as if their “emo” were infectious.
Now, I am not going to blame all my sour days on these walking Mood Swings; after all, I do have my own days of walking up on the wrong side of the world. I will, however, say that being surrounded by heightened emotions all day, every day, begins to wear on me. Stupid things that I can normally blow off suddenly seem catastrophic. An ignored email (phone call, text, what have you) that would normally be attributed to a busy life becomes a conscious decision to send me a message. My already analytic brain goes into hyper-drive, and I must make myself take a step back. I determine to have a good week and this nagging, melodramatic nonsense vies to get in.
It is frustrating.
It is work to push it back.
But I am taking a stand. I say no to the “emo," regardless of how many of its carriers sit in my classroom. True, it is harder to pull someone up than down, but harder does not equal impossible. If I can catch a bad mood, surely I can spread a good one.
Now, if I can just avoid catching “the dumb” that has been making its way 'round school...
Hahaha, I am just picturing the emo kids' heads exploding as you try to infect them with joy.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way you feel in this writing. Sometimes I get down as well. When you do kind things for people and it doesn't seem to affect them, or when you smile at everyone and no one smiles back, it kind of makes you want to stop smiling. I used to give money out to the poor, and one time I started walking up to a man passed out on a bus bench. I handed him 10 dollars, and the man scoffed at me, took the money, and rolled back over. I walked away full of joy, because for the first time, I realized it didn't matter what the man did. The man could have spit in my face, and I would have left with a smile. I didn't do it for him necessarily; God was watching...God is watching you, and he loves to see you smile, and he loves to see you be kind, and he loves to see you be positive; even if your the only one in the room who is. God bless, and thank you for what you shared. Your friend Jess.
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