While Listening to Hillsong...

I was listening to Hillsong’s “Not Today” on my way to work today…okay, more accurately, I was belting out with passion and maybe some choreography “Not Today” on my way to work (if you witnessed this on the freeway…you’re welcome), and the line “fear is a liar running out of breath” hit me, like it does every single time I listen to this song.

I love this line. I sing it, recite it, embrace it.

Fear is emotional, psychological, and spiritual. We mask it in words like insecurity, anxiety, or stress, but ultimately, it’s all fear. Whether it’s fear of the known or unknown, it whispers its threat of what’s to come and what we can’t control.

In my teens, there were so many things I didn’t do because I was afraid of failing. Somehow it was easier to keep it as a one-day dream or goal than to try and (gasp!) fail. Sadly, I missed out rather than allow myself to stumble and learn.

As much as I was afraid of failing, thankfully, I knew life needed to be lived and experienced. Going to college was a huge step in putting what I wanted above what I feared. There absolutely was a part of me that thought I would get there and find out I didn’t have the smarts to succeed. Turns out, I did.

I think that’s one of the reasons I love that line so much. So often fear whispers lies of inadequacy and doubt. I have found, however, the more I lean into what God has called me to do and lean on Him to get me through it, the more breathless fear becomes.

There are so many things that I have tried now that I just don’t think I would have been able to do had I not practiced pushing back against fear, had I not wanted to grow and be more than I was.

This past weekend I was on a mic in front of a lot of people for a women’s event, and I didn’t faint, vomit, or die. Twenty-year-old me might have done all three at just the thought. That same day, I led a breakout session and received good feedback…so yay!!

This is not to say that every time I try something or take a risk it works out. I don’t always master a new skill; I’m not always successful; I don’t always get the outcome I was hoping for. But even in the “failure” of something new, I grow. If nothing else, I learn the beauty of letting go.

Among the many wise statements of Ralph Waldo Emerson, one of my favorites is “Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.” This is one of his pithier statements, which is good because it’s a little easier to keep in your pocket and pull out when needed.

So, when Fear whispers its lies, I’ll remind myself its breath is running out.