Observation at Pacific Whey

Once again I am at Pacific Whey, finding myself lacking the focus (or desire) to grade. As I am thinking about this, I cannot help but hear one end of a phone conversation, and I begin to jot down what is invading my ear canal:

“Go vote. You have to vote” This was overheard at Pacific Whey. Naturally I assumed this was in regards to the upcoming primaries – silly me. In fact, as the bleach blond, botoxed, UGG wearing, middle-aged woman continued, I was reminded what happens when one assumes. This plea had nothing to do with government politics; instead, it dealt with the politics of American Idol. Yep.

I next heard “Ho Ju or Hee Ju, it doesn’t matter, no one cares…Anyway, everyone is madly in love with him…if they kick him off, I’m banning that show…You have to vote…you have to vote for him.” All while carelessly flipping through a magazine, this very one sided plea to “rock the vote” played out through this grown-up Valley girl (I use this term so you can get a mental audio of her inflections. No really, I’m not trying to be a brat, she had those tones).

I am amused with the serious intensity in which she discusses American Idol voting as though it is, in fact, the Presidential race. Then I ask: am I any better? Sure, she’s engrossed in the importance of Idol, but I am the one writing her importance down…hrrm…I worry for a moment but then alleviate my ephemeral crisis by passing it off as a useful character study.

Let’s Play One Day:

One day…

I’ll do all those things on my ‘to do’ list.

I’ll get caught up on all my grading. Or planning. I’ll take either.

I’ll listen to my inner cheerleader before my inner critic even begins to whisper.

I’ll be vindicated in keeping my “skinny” clothes.

I’ll be braver than I am today.

I won’t wish for ‘one day.’

Now, it's your turn...

A Lesson Plan I Heart

For the start of the semester, I gave a lesson (the same one for all my classes - a first) that I am still so excited about. I first had my kiddos read about the importance of writing down your goals, then (and I'm sure you see where I am going with this) I told them to write down six goals and a plan on how to achieve said goals.

One of the things I love about this, is I did not want them to limit their goals to the realm of the practical; you know, things that solely revolve around academia or career.

I tried to encourage them to think of things, experiences, characteristics that they feel would simply better their lives. Yes, the pragmatic plays a role; however, the so-called frivolous things of this world are just as important if you truly want to live this life, not simply survive it.

Because this was the first time around for this particular exercise, I made an example for them to see. (Also, I really wanted to do this too).

I really do love when I get down right giddy about my job. I cannot put into words what it is like when I see my students latch onto something, embrace it, and truly make it their own. Hee Hee.

My Sample board. I recommend this to all.

Watching them really get into this assignment and share one of the six goals they had to define, create an image for, and write a plan of action for was also so inspiring. Seriously, some of my kids were so brave in sharing their motivation behind a goal and why it meant so much. Of course, there were also those kids who had very fun, very funny goals - that was good too.

Upon reading a quote about art (a musing)

I don't believe in total freedom for the artist. Left on his own, free to do anything he likes, the artist ends up doing nothing at all. If there's one thing that's dangerous for an artist, it's precisely this question of total freedom, waiting for inspiration and all the rest of it. -Federico Fellini (1920 - 1993)

I still don’t consider myself “an artist” because an artist, in my mind, is someone who can bring to life creative images that somehow form out of the whispers of muses; those people who can beautifully and miraculously capture life in the strokes of their brushes.  I am, however, a person who loves to create (even when it’s an act of imitation).  I have a little corner in my apartment that I like to call my studio. I have this little blog (neglected as it’s been) where I like to think I create pictures of moments or emotions with my words.

I have to say, it’s taken me a while to get here, this place where I accept my expressions in all their imperfect glory. I know I needed to give myself enough room to grow, to not be burdened by expectation; however, I am finding more and more that it is time to raise the bar. I have been too undisciplined in the name of creativity, in the name of expression. As Fellini would say, I have given myself too much freedom. I am in need of boundaries and deadlines and discipline.

This is just another area of my life, of me really, that needs balance. I have a habit of being an all or nothin’ kind of gal. I need to allow myself some middle ground and realize that inhabiting this place of personal compromise does not negate my passion or dedication. What it does mean is that I can keep both and still leave room for error, for successes, for frustration, for contentment.

So, once again I am reminded how much life has to teach me and how much I am eager to learn.

Time and Space

I Heart Huckabees: “Have you ever transcended space and time?”

A great line. A quirky line. A quirky line from a quirky movie. However, this line comes to me now as I think about my amazing friends. I am currently in Las Vegas visiting friends I haven’t seen in over a year; however, as we sat, ate, chatted, and laughed tonight, it might have been a week or a  day since we were doing the same thing. It seems that the only judge of time is their beautiful little boy, now eleven months old (last time I “saw” him, he was in-utero).  He is this living, breathing representation of how quickly life progresses.

I am sure I am not the only one who experiences this. We all have that friend or those friends that allow us to transcend time, sometimes space, but mostly time. It truly is a wondrous thing to know that regardless of how much stuff gets sandwiched between visits, we pick up where we left off: instantly comfortable, content, and ready to make new memories.
So, next time your existential detective asks you if you’ve transcended time, you can say, of course, I have friends. Really, it’s science, and there’s no use arguing science.

P.S. To those friends I haven’t seen in a while, can’t wait to bend the concepts of physics with you.

Originally written: 7/27/11

How to...

The self-improvement section in my local Barnes and Noble is large – quite large. One can learn how to improve one’s mental ability, diagnose one’s ailments, or become clairvoyant (really). These subjects, plus many, many more, fill the pressed wood shelves to capacity. This “how to be a better you” section does not, however, contain all the “how-to” wisdom that is in printed and bound form. Oh, no, it cannot be limited to one measly little bookcase; instead, it is filtered throughout the store by subject.

Go ahead, peruse the subject specific sections and you’ll find the how to on that topic next to the masters. It makes sense of course. If a person were in dire need to know how to make the ultimate cookie, he or she wouldn’t begin in self-improvement. Although it is a bit interesting to see a coffee table book on the Renaissance masters propped up next to basic acrylic painting 1-2-3 type manuals. I almost expect to see a paint by numbers replica of the Sistine Chapel to be found inside.

Although the ‘how to’ options in any bookstore are abundant, they are the proverbial tip of the instructional iceberg; simply Google a project or interest and viola, you are given a plethora of sites that will guide you.  Some would say that this golden age of instruction can only be beneficial, but isn’t that a bit presumptuous?

It seems as though we are on a “how to” overload. A fun combination of inspiration and pressure. We are handed ways to better ourselves, both physically and mentally. Where is the learning curve or the agony and joy of having to figure things out on our own? Don’t get me wrong, I have no desire to reinvent the wheel, but does every single life experience need a For Dummies? It just seems that we are so busy collecting these “how to” steps that we, well, don’t.

For fun, you may want to see for yourself some of the more interesting how-to's on Amazon.

A small accomplishment

I have, like, five blogs started. Not a one is finished. I have a lot of unfinished ideas going on lately. I feel as though I am suffering from an odd type of writer’s block. In the past, my blocks have kept me from even starting; it was more a block of ideas than words. Once I got that first line down, I was good to go. However, this time is different: I have a few ideas or at least the beginnings of ideas but nothing else.

So this post is an odd one. I don’t plan on saying much, just something. I need to finish something, even if it’s not a gem.

Maybe you’ve been there. I like to think I’m not alone in this weird purgatory of needing, even wanting to be productive but falling short. It’s a fun little rut of caring enough for it to bother me, but obviously not caring enough to actual do it.

Well, I do believe that the scales have shifted in a positive manner. I may not have finished most of the things I have going, but I at least made this small accomplishment. I am way too proud of me right now.