Road Blocks

I teach about authors that have transcended their own time with voices that speak more to human nature than current fads. I teach about style and text and subtext and universal themes and relatable characterization. I teach about truth through words. I teach about learning from these amazing (albeit often troubled) voices that line the shelves of a bookstore. I teach about the importance of making your voice heard, taking a stand, creating new perspective. I teach about these things passionately and yet I have failed to truly learn these lessons myself.

I have a friend who tends to despise blogs and writes them off as "emotional vomit" and I cannot say that I totally disagree with her. And yet (again) I find myself here with my well intentioned hullabaloo with the intention of finding a voice. A voice that is mine. A voice as unique as the ones I try to help my students find.

Perhaps that is a part of my problem. I should cease to be afraid of producing emotional vomit. I need to take Ann Lamont's advice and simply get through my crappy first draft in order to get to one workable line. I need to stop being such a gold star kid with my need to master a task before I ever think about sharing with anyone. I need to realize that some of that confidence I have in my students needs to be reserved for me too. I need to get off my over analyzing, under disciplined butt and get to work.

I teach about finding a voice that adds to the world. I am learning how to follow this advice one crappy first draft at a time...please bear with me as I also learn to bear with myself.