Therapy via Blog

Mental Health Days. Have you ever taken a mental health day from work? I am not ashamed to say that I have. In fact, most of my "sick" days are of the mental health variety- that breather I need in order to get my priorities back in order, to refocus my lessons and my motives for teaching.

I took such a day today, except today is Saturday – no kiddos, no lessons, no commute to call in sick from, so you may be wondering from what, then, did I take a mental health day.

I have been quite moody lately. Not in the sense that I am snapping at people or throwing random tantrums. I have, though, been a bit self-pitying. I am usually good about fighting this melancholy that comes along, but today I called in. I did not reason it away or seek outside stimulus to, at the very least, distract myself. Nope. Today, I breathed deeply this melancholy and let myself feel the full force of its almost tangible weight.

I am sure there are many, many arguments as to why this is a stupid and possibly psychologically damaging practice (which is why I normally do not do this), but today, I did not have the energy to fight it. Nor, quite frankly, did I have the inclination to find the energy.

I ignored my phone, my email, and my better judgment and wallowed in my onset loneliness/heaviness. I allowed my over analytic mind to critique all my shortcomings, question my decisions, and steal what little motivation I had in me. I indulged in Del Taco, baked brownies, and watched tv via Hulu pretty much all day. I should feel awful about this. I don’t. I called in sick. Yes, from life.

I am realizing that my melancholy is like the flu. I feel achy (emotionally) and it gets worse before it gets better. Though I wallowed today, my fever broke. I am not fully recovered; however, I can say with certainty that I am on the road to recovery. I took a break from my hulu marathon to browse some art bloggers sites, which got me drawing and even feeling a little inspired.

It may sound small but this is the equivalent to taking that first shower after being in bed for a couple days. That refreshing feeling, as if the last few days of blah are circling the drain, never to be seen again.